var num_of_quotes = 14;
quotes = Math.floor (num_of_quotes * Math.random());

if (quotes==0) {
body="We're new here. You don't know us—we run with gangs.";
}

if (quotes==1) {
body="You wouldn't believe the things we can do with a single piece of bamboo...";
}

if (quotes==2) {
body="During the spring of 1997, six of our pandas ran for office in Columbia.";
}

if (quotes==3) {
body="We dubbed for Milli Vanilli. No big deal.";
}

if (quotes==4) {
body="Everytime Ross Perot ran for president, our parents <strike>always</strike> never voted for him.";
}

if (quotes==5) {
body="Two of our pandas met on match.com, they both had interests in pottery.";
}

if (quotes==6) {
body="This site is way better with the lights off.  Get comfortable, friend.";
}

if (quotes==7) {
body="All your base are belong to us.";
}

if (quotes==8) {
body="We're so h-o-t that you'll be saying o-m-g, b-t-w this is all for you.";
}

if (quotes==9) {
body="Favorite median movie in the San Diego office is a toss-up between Willow and Benny &amp Joon.";
}

if (quotes==10) {
body="We usually overthrow small third-world countries for team building exercises.  Trust falls, schmust falls.";
}

if (quotes==11) {
body="Every panda in Portland bikes to work.";
}

if (quotes==12) {
body="Every panda in San Diego rides gnarly waves to work, brah.";
}

if (quotes==13) {
body="Yes the red pandas are cute, no, we aren't related.";
}

document.write(''+ body +'');